Monday, January 9th, 2006
Ok. I screwed up the last post! It was a total disaster isnt it? Darn it sucked! So to make up to that and to er…maybe make some boring people read my blog again, as i posted earlier i wrote a song recently that i am somewhat happy with. And i realised something. Well before this, i was writing some other stuff that ended up in the trash bin because since i havent been writing anything at all, i just kinda forced myself into writing at least something. Anything. A simple rhyme that meant nothing. After i wrote "Puppet", i really realised that writing something cant be force upon yourself. If it really comes from your true raw emotions, it could end up to be something really meaningful to yourself and not neccessarily others 
And because i was really in a emotional time when i wrote "Puppet" i ended up with something i really liked, something i treasured, something i am proud enough to call it my work of art (cehh…). It is kinda too late for me to realise it since i’ve been writing since early 2003. Actually, is there anyone reading all this er…nonsense(sob sob…) that im writing about??? If there isnt any, maybe i should just stop blogging(dah kecik hati dahh…).Erm ok….
So let me just explain a little about this song "Puppet". Yes it is a song that i wrote. I guess the meaning of the song is pretty clear(look at the name of the song! Like duh!). The first and second verse are rap-ed while the chorus and the third verse are sung. I really liked the chorus. Do you want me to sing it fer ya? Hahah…just joking but if you put Ciara or Alecia Keys to work on this song its going to sound great! Then we will need a rapper. If yall know of Ciara’s song "And I", i did actually stole her ‘and I’ but thats all! All the words are of my own. I guess you can tell. Ok. Here it is.
Puppet
Verse 1:
It is so hard to be me
People just don’t see what I see
Maybe cuz I don’t do things clearly
Like written letters in black and white
Instead I try to do what I think is right
At least in my own mind
Sometimes I tried hard to change their mind
Change their negative perception of myself
But do I really care about everyone else?
And I have with me no one else but me
So I do really believe only in me
And I tried to be independent
I told myself to be confident
But I fall to the ground
I failed again
They can laugh at me now
Cuz I lost again
In my own game
Chorus:
So I
Let them control me
And I
Let them toy me
And I
Have no authority
To live my life the way I want it to be
So I
Let them take everything
Let them again, do it
And I
I am nothing
Except a puppet with these strings attached on me
Verse 2:
There were so many times
When I wish I’d just die
My troubles that were troubling me
Ain’t keeping me alive
So I shut myself down socially
Live life in loneliness basically
But yet they pushed me around
Thinking I was weak they pushed me down
I still let them do so to me now
I will never have the strength to fight them back
I am weak and I do admit that
A part of me did also accept the fact
I will only feel happy when I’m actually sad
And I let them turn me
Into what they want me to be
So bad that I as well believe
That I am not me, really
I just do not exist
And right now I perceive
I am no longer same old me
[Repeat chorus]
Verse 3:
Hurt me again, hurt me again
I’ve gotten used to this pain
So why don’t you hurt me again, hurt me again
Ev’rything hurts anyway
Blame me again, blame me again
I know I’m guilty for everything
Blame me again, please just blame me again
I’m so useless in everyway
Break me again, break me again
You know I wanted it this way
Break me again, go on and break me again
You just loved to see me in pain
So I’ll just let myself be your puppet again…
[Repeat chorus]
I don’t think I’ll live after today
-END-
